Chapter IV – Rainbow
…Don’t ever say never if you ever plan to never, eat your words. I was a never girl. Never leave home without makeup, Never leave home without my hair done. Never let em’ see you sweat and never, never, kiss and tell. Yet here I am. Pride and never are friends. And the Bible admonishes us to take heed lest we fall.
Somehow, being a part of Christianity can make you feel competent spiritually, even comfortable. Once you get comfortable in Christ, the downhill is in full effect. You know the syndrome, you think you are rich and increased with goods and have need of nothing The Laodicea Complex. Been there, done that, and running out of fingers. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again even though you get the same results, I was INSANE. Party, pray, party, pray. I wouldn’t party the night before church, but the other days were fair game and loaded with foolish carousing and drunkenness from the wee hours of the night til the break of dawn, and I was married.
Sometimes after hours of drinking, I would meet men and have inappropriate relationships with them. In hindsight of course I ask, “How could I ever have done such things, I was married for goodness sake. But while I was actively involved, it sure felt good to me. Unfortunately, they all disappointed me so eventually I found an alternative. Now before you say never, consider yourself and walk a little more in my shoes to see why I started walking the other way.
I was baptized at nine, but bumped into Jesus almost eighteen-years later. No, not at a party. Everybody wants to have that dramatic Damascus road experience where God knocks you off your horse and some supernatural, unexplainable, occurrence leaves you speechless. Yeah, right. But more often what actually happens is the still small voice corners you when you’re all alone and you and Jesus go head-to-head.
At 27 years of age, I had my one-on-one encounter with Jesus. I sat on the edge of my bed as Jesus and I began this strange dialogue. I was tired of my life. He had the keys to eternal life. The stop and go relationship of church, partying, and having a good time was wearing me out, of course He wanted me to cast all my cares on Him. I found out very quickly the fun was short-lived, empty, temporal and only felt good in an immediate sense. Once the moment passed, so did the fun. That night Jesus said to me “You have to make a choice!” I began to weigh the pros and cons of my lifestyle but my sinful life flashed in front of me instead. Believe me, when sin is apparent, there are no pros, only cons…